things got crazy there for a while

on a different note

I met two beautiful people

and um...

life is really quite chill

and

life is becoming really quite increasingly exciting

been working on some music...

[allchoppy]

I say what I mean and I mean what I say

it's so fucking difficult to find other people who can

see past frustration and stay true to that

trust me

I've been searching for a long fucking time

for just one other person like this

and in that time

my whole perspective on the world has changed

I remain optimistic

that somewhere there are true people

but I'm beginning to loose hope because every time I think I've found one

I find myself mistaken for someone who is just as fake as the previous

I

will not wait

to be understood

I

will not wait

to be heard

I

will not wait

to be seen in the true light

for I am right here

I have not been lying

I have not been deceitful

being evaluated

by those physically near me

but personally distant

they try

to tell me what I am

where I belong

they use

words of disdain and anger

in loud tones

expressing only

the opposite of what they

have vocally spoken

so I 

begin to tell myself repeatedly

to stay calm

silently waiting

for another loud structure

to return desolate

and in

learning

I empathize 

quickly

yet

desperately

attempting to understand

the outside of a shell

a shell that

surrounds me

yet

I cannot recall its creation

I cannot recall the way to disengage it

as if it were restlessly and relentlessly

protecting its contents

that someone

somewhere

claimed valuable

empathize

then

through other eyes

I see myself

unwillingly

taking blame

for

misunderstood events

I have to remind myself

what is and isn't my own fault

spending hours upon hours

recalling

reality

and

in

a matter of minutes

repercussions arrive

in overwhelming tones

again

I don't understand why this happens

I think I know why

but it seems almost too simple to really be the answer

so

the future is

quite obvious

mainly

because it's

already right

infront of

our eyes

who else is ready to bend space

sustain the nurture of nature

explore beyond sight's limit

reach the human hand of knowledge

to meet the potential of human intuition

human thought

human desire

human dedication

the colors of time

separately

blending with one another

mixing the experiences

we know to be

sound

sight

touch

taste

smell

and

now sense

healthy body/healthy mind

able body/able mind

functioning body/functioning mind

yo let's go chill with the aliens

because frankly

I am getting sick of waiting for them

to come chill with us

especially

when the only humans

it's said they've met

are the corrupt, belligerent, greedy fuckers

that tell you how to interpret your own fucking dreams

and where you spend your precious private reserve currency

your laws don't mean shit in space

gay marriage and weed are both legal on the moon.

why

would you not

talk about all this cool shit?

maybe it's

only

imagination and illusion

but what is

happening

here

is

obvious

but tell me not to speak

for I disappeared by choice

while many

vanish

without given permission

but those in disguise

are merely camouflaged

and

will never be invisible

will never not be there while being there

will never be undetectable

look closely and anything hidden can be uncovered

remember that heart is stronger than mind

and

heart yearns for exploration

heart yearns for what's beyond

yearning for what is beyond the mind's vision

that's something that the heart can see

that's something that the heart can feel

"what begins in chaos

ends in chaos"

the world

so full of unknowns

from the rainbow trees

towering high

to natures chemicals

pumping in my veins

nature

nurture

&

change

evolution

we're only certain of uncertainties

that fill this world

and let us remember that

patience

is

persuasion

"You don't understand me

that's your trouble

not my fault because

you don't understand me

I don't understand you either

BUT I DON'T SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE

TRYING TO PUT THE BLAME OVER ON YOU

BECAUSE MY CIGARETTE DIDN'T LIGHT

OR BECAUSE SOMETHING DIDN'T WORK RIGHT"

it looks

so beautiful

in this

typeface.

The common words these days

are 

WAKE UP.

similar faces in ordinary bodies

the ordinary and the things to prove

open eyes and open minds

I wrote on public property just as equally as the campaign posters

flood the scenery of

mountains

roads

sidewalks

I saw your reflection in the

artificial

aluminum clouds

just as I saw my own in the

flattened

wheat field

they say these

abductions

are painful

timeless

moments

with

the

incubus

of

deoxyribonucleic

acid

illness

but

I

never knew them to be

quite like that

the

remembrance 

of

forgotten inspiration

is like

a

dream

recalled

hours later

in the awaken life

numbers

graphs

circles

lights

energies

movements

since the beginning of these

thoughts and their growth

development just as

the swollen

traces left with no answer

"I've seen this all before,

but something is different."

speaking to me

through the sounds

sounds recorded

way back when

listening to

nothing sounds

realizing he was

right

about pronunciation

it doesn't mean much

now

he

just as I

quit those

marketed

children of culture

a culture

turned grey

grey as the faces

they claim

claimed

by

hands held

tight

hands

of the

inside

a fire was

created

evidence

strewn about

in the

cold night

records

of a

grey face

retrieved

by

past

&

future

bright

blinding lights

shooting through

illuminating

the

various stories

stories

now described

by

some

collector of crystals

found with

water

one

single

thing

THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY "YOU"

it doesn't matter who's watching

it doesn't matter who knows

it doesn't matter who cares

the subtle singularity formed in the shower

during a term of conditioning

my next cat will be named "Sandy"

so I can call it a sandy pussy.

Variables VIII from James Allbee on Vimeo.

*hello, this is allchoppy, just saying, "yeh"... that's backwards for hey.*

hey Ian M

you wouldn't believe

this

but

most these days

are spent

out of step

now

for me too

do you remember when?

yeah

so do I

call those the

good ol' days

what

a

fucking

lie

covered my eyes

and

holy shit

exposed me

as

I would you

sat backwards

on

turned tables

not forever

but

until the next

the mystery of things we cannot explain

the scientists tirelessly working to solve

the investors spending to save precious time

the human anxiety of running out of time

the fear of a beautifully preserved secret

sometimes I just want to tell them all

because they so eagerly wait

I want to say

"oh well"

not the "oh" that would abandon hope

nor the "well" that would state completion

it's

just

really

PROCESS

not structure

learn/grow/experience/live/love/try

give & take

speak & listen

the past is a thought

just as equally

as what is to come

when I see him next

new process, begin

process of a process

wrinkled shorts

faded shoes

warped belt

messed hair

perfected shirt

they should know this by now

happiness

sleepless

relentless

the money and the yelling mornings

nothing

never thought it something

ask me about what I do take seriously

ask me about ears or eyes

ask me about puzzles

tell me that you can keep up

if

you can keep up

then

there is music for your ears

it's a

choppy

50

search

50

!

a problem is

that

I don't trust

the problem is

that

I desire to (one day be able to) trust