I

will not wait

to be understood

I

will not wait

to be heard

I

will not wait

to be seen in the true light

for I am right here

I have not been lying

I have not been deceitful

being evaluated

by those physically near me

but personally distant

they try

to tell me what I am

where I belong

they use

words of disdain and anger

in loud tones

expressing only

the opposite of what they

have vocally spoken

so I 

begin to tell myself repeatedly

to stay calm

silently waiting

for another loud structure

to return desolate

and in

learning

I empathize 

quickly

yet

desperately

attempting to understand

the outside of a shell

a shell that

surrounds me

yet

I cannot recall its creation

I cannot recall the way to disengage it

as if it were restlessly and relentlessly

protecting its contents

that someone

somewhere

claimed valuable

empathize

then

through other eyes

I see myself

unwillingly

taking blame

for

misunderstood events

I have to remind myself

what is and isn't my own fault

spending hours upon hours

recalling

reality

and

in

a matter of minutes

repercussions arrive

in overwhelming tones

again

I don't understand why this happens

I think I know why

but it seems almost too simple to really be the answer